There’s Something Wrong With Me

Cover Image

Something I have been noticing as I get older.

I’m not normal.

Let me put it this way. My existence is something of an enigma even to me. To prove the point – I have never liked basketball. Which is, by far, what most manly, semi-athletic males aspire to be at a young age. Didn’t go for the basketball shoes that players endorse, was not excited to wear a favorite team’s jersey, nor follow the games religiously, like a penitent during lent.

I never read any Shakespeare. Not for the lack of trying. But growing up in Paete, Laguna, my literary choices border on the lewd and pornographic to the absolute crazy stories like Flowers for Algernon, or the novels by Clive Barker and Stephen King to name a couple of writers I am really familiar with. I even read The Lord of the Rings on the dusty, darker side of the school library while my friends are busy harassing the girls elsewhere.

A deviant.

Tv program choices, even that makes me think I am  somewhat off kilter. I was watching Sesame Street and The Electric Company in my elementary years. Three’s Company, Mork & Mindy, Saturday Night Playhouse, The Wacky racers, just some of my boob tube favorites. Not the soaps and That’s Entertainment. Even the movies I like are not quite mainstream. Because I seldom trust movie reviews and prefer to make my own view of the movie rather than bash a movie I haven’t seen. Come to think of it, why bash a movie when you can just recommend what you like about a film you just watched?

Never liked AlDub. Outgrown Eat Bulaga. I laugh at people reacting vehemently when they feel nsomeone has besmirched their name or their school, or their company, online. I cry at sad parts of movies. I love old school illustrations and drawings, even woodcuts I place in high regard.  I like to get to an appointment an hour early. I don’t like people waiting on me. At the same time, I am loathe to wait for people who are never on time.

I’m an aberration.

I don’t care for Kanye West’s recorded music, but I love every bit of track Moz Def put out. I can listen continuously to Rammstein, Metallica, Rivermaya, The Dawn and maybe throw in a few Classics and Tom Waits in between playlists. I cover my ears on every Nicki Minaj sound on radio. Rishloo, Enigma and Crystal Method I play on my laid back hours. But I am extremely annoyed with videoke singers singing the same song every chance they get. Gimme some live music, but please don’t make everything Bossa. But I like singing.

Not normal.

Am I too radical to declare I do not care for religion, but still believe in God?

Abomination

I have this strange fixation with ramen, boiled food and lots of soup. I once enjoyed a plate of Pasta Carbonara lavishly garnished with salty, spicy bagoong, and it got me hooked. And I don’t care much for fine dining. Street food, turo-turo works for me. But when I eat at someplace expensive, I eat everything. I don’t subscribe to that train of thought of leaving something on your plate, lest they think you a patay-gutom. Fuck you, I love food.

I’m one of the few who still insists on using email for professional transactions, social media is just for advertising and online ranting. If there ever was a reason or cause to rant. I don’t put too much value on titles given to you at work. Hell, I’m a Graphic Artist, yet I can clean the office, run errands, make coffee, and while all of these are occurring everyday, I still manage to handle uploading articles to the entertainment website I used to hold, create collaterrals for print, you know, stuff I’m underpaid for.

Heck.

I even created some video clips for a very special friend for free. What could otherwise have netted me five grand (pesos, friends, in pesos) I gave away for free.

Because I can.

Not normal, I tell you.

I cringe every time someone comments how good my drawings are, asks how much for this and this, and then stands aghast and spews these utterly abhorrent words “Para drawing lang?” (That much for just a drawing?).

I am an alien. Of sorts.

There’s definitely something wrong with me.

Full Throttle, baby

Photoshop Doodle

Weeks ago, I was merely trying to draw enough to put into a full coloring book for grownups. But as my recent conversation on Facebook with Marie, whom since our college days, has been a pillar of strength, though she may deny it, but bless her, her mind is a source of pure keen perception.

While I was listening attentively to another dear friend, Sally, who has been tutoring me on the business side of being a startup,  and no, that is not entirely true, Sally has been schooling me on the intimate workings of starting a business based on my skillset, which was drawing and illustrating, and both of  them allows for a very educational foray into the world of taking control of my venture.

Now, to others I may have been focusing on the wrong part of this venture, mainly to create more relevant and enduring artwork. But you must understand, my casual internet visitor, yes, you who is reading this today. I love woodcuts. I love the way a single color can elicit a wide variety of emotion upon the beholder. I am also enamored with comics  and editorial cartoons. I always try to pay homage to these influences. Artists like Javinal, Malgapo, Acuna, Freff, Moebius, among others. Writers and creators like Poblete and Ravelo, Miller, Moore, Gaiman. And all of those unnamed printing pioneers who perfected woodcuts and negatives in the old days of publishing. My own creation may be very far off from these masters, but I try, really I try.

Even with just starting with a coloring book meant for hobbyists and enthusiasts, I try to present my work in a manner that is not merely trying to put out anything, but with purpose and roots.

Which is why the decision to go and learn anything and everything about the business, cost and expenses, marketing and sales, choosing the matrials for the artworks themselves, the right ink, looking for potential investors to bankroll this venture and offer a reasonable ROI for a long term business relationship.

Because ewhen this thing gets rolling there is that possibility I may have to register a business name and pay taxes for it.

Which brings me into looking foir new channels to earn from. Obet led me to a crowdfunding site and it blew me away – Patreon was what i was looking for. Give to an artists who knows what to refer to another artist, but Obet is on an entrely higher plane and I value his thoughts on this matter, too.

So when things get too heavy on my mind….

I make Photoshop Doodles!