Going Indie With What The Interwebs Has To Offer

There’s something quite scary and satisfying when you decide to go out on your own and do things your own way. I may have outgrown working in a controlled environment, and when I say controlled environment, it’s the corporate setting – that has a semblance of professional functionality, but the people there are somewhat oblivious of the fact that artists tend to require a different sort of working environment, and not to forget, no never forget, that when artists become professional, it’s really something to behold. You could bash me for wearing sloppy clothes, scraggly facial hair, but you cannot fault me on my work ethics, another thing these young people tend to overlook.

And so, yeah, this time around going full freelance has me visiting my social media accounts, an acquired skill when I did creatives for a mobile app compnay a decade before. It seems I have been taking these things for granted. And yet, I have been revcising my portfolio online.

Because, honestly, when I created this portfolio on Wix , I was just having fun, building my own website, free of course, by not using any theme or template available. True enough, I learn fast. And building my own has taught me about SEOs and layouts and content generation. This blog with WordPress is actually the first blog I started right after I tried with another blogsite. or maybe a couple obscure blogging sites before. No I am not forgetting that Blogspot and Blogger has been around even before Google acquired it, but there are things you set for one particular use.

Now ahy am I blabbing away about these?

Simple.

I’ve gone ronin. Free agent. Freelance.

Indie.

And now is the time to visit all the stuff I have online and use it to build my own virtual office that could help me feed my family. Just look at what my friends has opened for me: illustrating for adult coloring books . And this has been fun, so far. I mean even with Google+ the fun of extending your friends and acquaintances beyond Facebook. which I admit has gone to some sort of cheap thrill.

All I need is a space to work with my creations and just draw till my hands ache. And use my online presence to boost these creations and have my skills avalibale for those who would like to use avail of my services.

This maybe the proper time to shout out gratitudes to

WordPress Wix Blogger/Blogspot Twitter Paper.li Google Google news Digg Retronaut io9

and these are just some of my ragular haunts.

And I better start making my blog posts a regular thing again.

You Shall Not Pass [or something to that effect]

It was a joke, really, something I keep telling myself when I’m reminded of something that happened several weeks ago. And I laugh everytime.

The line was made famous by Tolkien, having been uttered by none other than Gandalf, that rowdy wizard, whose fondness for pipeweed and wine is as famous as his powers and cunning. But the title Wizard fits him perfectly, an honorific bestowed on individuals with the skill and knowledge, the decisive actions, and the pondering of the consequences.

Titles.

Everybody wants one.

That group of letters that you write in front, or in most cases, after your name. The words that fill one’s profile page on any social network accounts. The phrases we use to direct people to our achievements and milestones. The taglines we thought would make us look cool and worldly. Stuff that project an image of being larger than life.

Even with my own issues with authority, I do value and respect those that have earned these titles – Engineers, Doctors, Professors, Sempai – to name a few.

But there are people who flaunt their titles, even temporary ones, with too much fervor and arrogance, it feeds their ego and presumed worth to grow in preposterous proportions. Self love is one thing, but when it borders on Narcissism, it becomes a sort of masturbation,  and that all too familiar me-first mentality just makes me chuckle . One such person, after some heated exchanges, manage to squeeze in a line that I have heard several times before, in different instances –

“Hanggang d’yan ka lang.“

(That is all you will ever be.)

Should I have been offended? Absolutely not. I may have been furious before that, but when this person asked me to apologize, I nearly burst out with gratuitous gales of laughter. For it was only then that I realized I was dealing with another one of those who think themselves above everybody else, much like Saruman  forgetting that the real power lies within The Eye, and he is only in its employ. No better than the orc he kicked to get on with his assigned duties.

What’s funny is that he almost took the stance of  the a wizard stopping  me, the Balrog in this story, from taking any step further, and with his own belief that I can be no more that what I am now.

Oh, I could have said something like ” I was here before you.” but that would come off as me being arrogant.  In movies , this is the time I could have mouthed off some really heavy, press worthy stuff I have done in the past. But it’s not  me. So I let it slide. He’s still young. He will have to deal with burnout and middle age in his own time. Let him have his Gandalf moment. I would like to be the wizard, but then I’d be much happier being Balrog, or Gene Simmons‘ Demon, or Ozzy for that matter.

And I’m laughing again.

Because, when someone tells me to go no further, that’s the time I leap ahead, grasp whatever handhold there is on the other side of the cliff and pull myself up. I am more of an Arakeen than Harkonnen. If Arrakis throws me sandstorms, I curl and wait it out. Not squeamish to get wet and wade in the flood. I have sustained bruises, burns and scabs from too many failures and setbacks, I have gotten the knack of standing up.

Time to reinvent myself again.

I Am Everything That’s Wrong In The World

And it may be true. For what my brothers and a few relatives think. Or maybe everyone around me see me as the biggest asshole they have ever met.

Could be true, you know. If you see me in my black tees, jeans and worn out shoes, closely cropped hair, earring on one ear, smoking a cigarette, then I guess I am the quintessential stereotype, up-to-no-good hooligan you see everyday on the street.

I gave up caring about it.

I had the made another mistake of helping out a brother who is clearly having some difficulties with rising up to the occasion, money wise. Mind you, I’m strapped for funds myself, but hey, blood is blood, and I think it’s a good idea at the time.

Or so, I thought.

Then came the time that all those funds and helping out really brought me low with the current economy. I just had to ask him to cover for one of my numerous dues. I believed he would keep true to his word. But he didn’t. And it made things worse. I was paying installment for a motorcycle I haven’t had the pleasure of riding. My wife has an affliction that eats up the nutrients on her bones that keeps on tugging at our meager monies. In order for me to maintain a good working relationship with my employer, I maintain an apartment close to my workplace. Amidst all that, I managed to deprive myself of earthly delights and let my brother use some of my hard-earned pay so he can do what he needs to do to provide for his family.

Noble deed, should someone need to label it.

I think of it as a normal, sensible thing to do.