…and it was full of everything.
I remember from my previous employment. I get attached to the people I work with. The feeling might not be the same for them like me, but it feels like finding a family, however dysfunctional it may be.
The last time I did have that feeling was with an animation studio.
Not the big one, the other one.
You meet a lot of people as you go through life. I’m fortunate enough to have met some really, wonderful human beings – Artists, Musicians, Animators, Writers, simple people – all sorts of interesting, stimulating creatures. The kind you can swear your loyalty to.
I have a problem with loyalty. Often times it gets me into all sorts of personal turmoil. Like a dog for his master. I get territorial when it comes to those I value, and love. I am quirky that way. I was also a philanderer, so that makes me a walking, talking contradiction.
But heck, people change. I know I did.
Misplaced loyalty kept me from moving forward before. I tried very hard to defend and support my animation studio, that it almost kept me from opening new doors. Like a dog subservient on a leash, patiently waiting for his master to let go.
I miss the artists here. I wanted to take them with me, but each of us have our own personal reasons for staying, or leaving like I did.
The worst thing I had to hear was somebody telling me that the only reason I am with a job at that time was because my wife is a relative of my boss, and that was the only reason that they keep paying me. never mind that I was an animator trained and honed from the boiler rooms of TOEI.
Because I know my worth when it comes to my work, my skill, and my talent.
I just admitted to myself that I do have a talent.
Because I do.
And it was this very long, slow week that somehow, the events told me something I have to learn and keep myself from being dragged into. Again.
The people I work with now, bless them, and excuse me for being redundant, but I love this bunch of weirdly funny, happy group of awesome nerdy kids. And at the risk of sounding like a kiss-ass derp, my superiors, truly belongs to a list of very few people I’d follow.
I’m a dog again. And I get very territorial.
But, like I said, this is probably another of those times when you meet a certain kind of person that thrives on exposure and the adoration of his peers. You know. Those that think themselves above everyone else, sugarcoats everything that comes off his mouth and declarations of being frank, and all sorts of personal data given out in increments, short of giving you his resume whenever the opportunity arises. You know the kind. Someone that was not there when the conception of a project was underway. Someone who only thought of things when presented with a rudimentary sample. Somebody who likes to mingle with the beautiful people. A person that likes to say “I’m a perfectionist”.
That kind of person.
I may have met quite a few in this lifetime. But never have I experienced such tenacity, such ego oozing from the ears in volumes, exhibiting the popular Grammar Nazi claims and pompous glee when lording it over us mortals.
The kind of person a song by The Smiths is bluntly applicable.
I let him drag me into it. The senseless argument and pissing contest. I should have been the wiser one and let him enjoy his perceived superiority.
But I can’t. Won’t. Will not.
I created something out of nothing. Painted a blank canvas. And now he thinks he knows more than the painter. Well good for him. I’ve seen his kind before. He’s still young, and probably lived a comfortable, safe life, that along the way, he’ll go through what everyone experience at some point in their lives – failure, flat broke, and down out of luck.
Glad I have seen the view from the top, and slept in the mud below. Seeing both ends of the rope gives you a different perspective in life. He’ll get his chance with it. Pray he doesn’t break in half when these things happen. He looks fragile.
My boss was right, I should have known better. Another kindred soul told me we were acting like kids in the newsroom. I’m embarrassed to admit I did, behave like a fool. That I will apologize for. I am sorry I dragged my Director, my Ops Manager, and my other mentor into this.
They were right. I should have known better.
But for all the wishful thinking, I’d rather hit him smack in the face with my external hard drive. It would have felt good. But it could have made things worse for me.
So I walk away. I tried to quit before. But now it’s for good.
No I didn’t quit.
He fired me.
I’d like to think he planned it all so everybody can hear, and know that he has the power to fire anyone from his team.
Hmm. Well, I’m no stranger to that.
It was a long week. The preps and coverage for the polls have been done, with just the proclamations still ongoing, and the website I was working on – I let go.
This week took longer that what an average work week usually do. Probably because everyone I know is a bit weary, and peeved at the new changes within the network. And of course, my own battle with restraint. I use to be a brawler, but now it seems I’m learning to keep my anger in check.
I could let out a slew of expletives, though. But I’m getting good at not hitting someone right there and then.
I’m getting old.